The "Dear Pat" response...

So here's the copy and pasted version of the "Dear Pat" letter. If you need clarification on the sequence of events- check out the first post on "the history of Dear Pat".

Dear, Pat:

I was a little bit confused by our conversation last week I have also been concerned about the noise issue in the building, but when you approached me, I think there may have been a more respectful way of bringing up the topic than “I thought we were going to have to evict you.” You have been a wonderful building manager and I thought we had a good enough relationship that you could have brought up the subject in a more courteous way.

A few things I’d like to bring up. As a 25 year old Masters student in Psychology who obtains a 4.0 Grade Point Average (perfect score), this is not maintained by being a “hard partyer” or any of the other titles that I’m sure others in the building have pinned on me. But as a fellow OWNER (not renter) at the Somerset, I am entitled to have visitors for dinner or at any other time of any day. This is something I do not do often, as I usually have classes on weekends and only allow myself 1 or 2 nights/month to socialize. Working as hard as I do, I value these nights off and it is very unnerving and humiliating when I am penalized for them. The fact is- even if I were having people over every night of the week, I am entitled to that right, but I CHOOSE to be respectful of myself and others by keeping late nights to a minimum.

I try very hard to be respectful of others, if I have friends over for dinner and a couple of drinks (which is maybe twice/month), I try to have everyone out of the house by 11 or 12. I have even gone so far in the past as to forewarn my neighbors with a kind note that I will be having guests and we will be gone by 11. The one other occasion when some friends who were visiting from out of town stayed later than that, the gentleman next door came by and spoke with me in person to let me know my living room shared a wall with his bedroom, and I respectfully adhered to his request to keep talking to a minimum.

The weekend that you approached me about, I received a very rude, anonymous note on Sunday morning. Saturday night I had 4 friends over for dinner and we were out of my house by midnight. I returned home later in the evening ALONE to go to sleep as I had class early the next morning. A friend who was still out called me around 3 o’clock am because she had forgotten her keys at my house from earlier in the night, she came by to pick them up and left immediately. Upon waking up Sunday morning to a knock at my door (and no one at the door) I saw a note taped to my door. It was very rude and addressed to “NEW RENTER” from “OWNER”, claiming that there had been “moaning and screaming” coming from my apartment at 3am.

This is entirely impossible and obviously some mistake was made:

o nNo one but me was at my house at 3am on Saturday (unless they heard my friend come by to pick up keys)

o eEven if I did have an overnight visitor with me, I am entitled to do so. No explanations required.

o aA respectful, face-to-face conversation would have cleared up the issue much more maturely than running away after knocking and taping a note to the door.

A taped note to the door is humiliating and disrespectful as it is visible for passersby to read

I have lived in this building for over one year, and I consistently hear the noises of those who live above, below and beside me. I have never, EVER made a noise complaint, because I understand that we live in an old building, with thin walls, and people cannot change their everyday living habits to accommodate everyone else. I expect the same respect and understanding.

For instance:

-individuals who live above me are VERY heavy footed, run around the house, often yell and scream profanities and stomp around at all hours of the night

-individuals below me: I can hear them talking, yelling, opening and closing their windows, and also on one occasion hiring a jack-hammer crew to do repairs on their balcony at 7am on a Sunday morning

-individuals beside me like to sing very loudly and yell at each other from different rooms of the apartment- noise which carries into my apartment

Have you ever heard me complain about any of these things? NO. That is because I understand that we cannot all be accommodated.

I also find it cowardly that these individuals chose to bring up the matter with you rather than with me.

Perhaps if individuals are having issues, they should have found a house, or a modern building with thicker walls. Living here is their choice.

I am not an unreasonable person and consider myself kind and understanding. I would always and unquestionably help out a neighbor in need at anytime. I value neighborliness. If future incidents arise, individuals should contact me directly, face-to-face.

I have been experiencing a great deal of stress and anxiety over this situation as I hate to think I am a cause of concern for others, however, I have to stand up for myself as there are always two sides to every story, and I feel as if I am targeted because I am one of the younger residents.

I will not stop socializing, or inviting friends into my home. I will continue to be respectful and have people out by 11 or 12. And if I do have an overnight visitor someday, neighbors will have to deal with that in the same way I deal with the sounds of other couples above, below and beside me. I will not continue to allow myself to be targeted because I am a young, single female.

The fact is we all share this building, so I would appreciate the message to be passed on to others that we should be able to co-exist maturely, respectfully and hopefully, in a friendly manner. We all know that walls are thin, this is just the way things are at the Somerset and there is nothing we can do about that. I invite others to think about that fact, as well as their own actions, before they come down so harshly on others.

Please do not hesitate to contact me regarding this issue. Also, feel free to forward this letter to those with concerns. Thank you, and I appreciate your consideration.

Note: I will DEFINITELY be writing a post about some of the falsifications of myself in this note at another time. Little white lies really.