Letters dedicated to Pat, the crazy-ass building manager of my apartment

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Miss Misunderstood

Dear Pat,

Margaret Tru-Dat here -I really should have introduced myself before. Forgive my manners. You may recognize me as the girl seen swinging from the chandelier in your lobby. Maybe you didn't pay attention...I always clean up the mess. And let me say this Pat, if I lived in your building we would be such great friends. I love composting, stickers, and all things poodle.

After seeing your beautifully penned letter to Natalie this morning ..sigh...good penmanship seems to have died...I am starting to understand you a little bit more. Like so many a landlady before you, you're just misunderstood, just tryin' to hold down the Somerset fort. In fact, you remind me of a young (yes, you're welcome) Mrs. Helen Roper , of Three's Company fame. All you want to do is paint the town red with us but you're stuck tending to the gardens, LG, the mailroom, the laundry, the garbage (people are so wasteful!). Maybe you don't have a Mr. Roper (don't fret, we'll find you one) but LG is a lot of work..."feed me Pat"..."pet me Pat"...."braid my hair Pat".I have heard through the grapevine that he can be overly demanding. Do you even have time to keep up with all of your programs? What's your favourite soap Pat? My favourite is The Young & the Restless - would you like to watch together before our next pre-drink? I won't tell if you don't tell. We can curl our hair and talk about boys and dogs.

Whadya say friend? Let's make a night of it.

Love ya home girl.


Mags x

No comments:

Post a Comment