Letters dedicated to Pat, the crazy-ass building manager of my apartment

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Pat replies!

Pat have you stolen my idea for a blog?

Dear Pat,

This morning I awoke from my slumber to find a note slipped under my door. What was this note you might be wondering??? Well none other than a reply from you!

Scrawled in your best cursive penmanship (a lost art really), I would like to share some highlights from this beaut. (I can't post a pic of the letter because a) no one would be able to decipher it and b) there's too much personal info about you and the last thing we need is the paparazzi hanging outside her door since you've become somewhat of a celebrity). Here goes:

"I cannot believe that you did not appreciate my sense of humour when I told you I was going to evict you, I did not in my wildest dreams think that you had misread my remarks- it was all in fun" you wrote.
  • Oh Pat, honestly you got me there. I had no idea you were such a jokester! Please excuse my blatantly lacking sense of humour, I'll try to hit up a couple yuk yuk's shows this weekend to brush up on what's current in the form of comic relief.
"I have not heard anything else from the neighbors who complained about you. After all, we live in the heart of downtown vancouver with lots of action so one must put up with the noise on occasion or go live in the country", you explain.
  • Patricia! I had no idea you were so metro-savvy! I mean I knew you were a scenester based on the list of "west-end hotspots" you hand typed for me when I first moved in (FYI, yes Denny's and Red Lobster made the list), but I had no idea to what extent! Maybe you could show me around the city sometime? A couple girls and I were thinking of painting the town red on Friday, maybe we could hit up TGI Fridays (keep it classy), grab a couple of root beer floats and explore Gastown??
  • I think exiling our neighbours to 'burbs is a bit extreme don't you think? Surrey can be scary and I'm a lover not a fighter.
"In the future if you hear your neighbors banging against the wall, just blow it off and bang against the wall too", you conclude.
  • Thats what she said.
Pat, I have to say that after your note, I think we might find ourselves becoming fast friends.

Your BFF,

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