Letters dedicated to Pat, the crazy-ass building manager of my apartment

Monday, April 5, 2010

Let's start over! Hi, my name is Teeny...

Dear Pat,

Miss Teeny-Wonderful here. I don't actually live in the building but I am one of the dinner (read: predrink) guests referred to in Renteroo's original letter. You probably recognize me as the girl who comes in on Saturday's for a casual magnum of Naked Grape to SHARE with a friend. In our defense, the larger the bottle, the slower the wine ages..FACT. But I digress...I thought considering you know so much about us, maybe we could get to know you? You're always welcome to come down for a glass..maaaayybe two, but if you want more, please bring your own. We don't really like to share liquor.

Listen, I can already tell we'd be good friends based on that delightful picture of you. I know the angle is a little off but I did notice you're wearing white socks, black shoes...a tribute to MJ? I LOVE HIM TOO!!! See?! Just one of the many artists we like to listen to at these casual 'dinner' parties! An embroidered NYC skyline on your tshirt? Slightly dated, but I can only imagine it's a reference to your favorite song, the recent number one hit, Empire State of Mind? That Jay Z is such a poet! Pat, we could have such a great time if you only gave us a chance. Next Saturday, leave LG at home, grab a bottle of Chardonnay and come down to the 2nd floor. We'll be kicking YOU out by 11pm you minx!

See you tres soon,
Miss Teeny-Wonderful ( if we drink enough, I'll let you know where the name comes from)

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